We asked members of the Fisting Butter community to share their experiences. Here’s what they told us — edited for privacy but presented in their own words.
“I wish someone had told me to slow down”
Member since 2024, London
“My first few attempts didn’t go anywhere — not because anything was wrong, but because I was trying to rush to a destination instead of enjoying the journey. The moment I stopped thinking about ‘getting there’ and started focusing on the connection with my partner, everything changed. That’s the advice I’d give anyone starting out. There’s no finish line.”
“The community made all the difference”
Member since 2023, Manchester
“I’d been curious for years but had no idea where to start or how to find people who were into the same things. Joining the community here was the turning point. I met my regular play partner through the Manchester group — we’ve been playing together for over a year now and it’s the most consistent, safe, communicative dynamic I’ve ever had. That kind of thing doesn’t happen by accident. It comes from taking the time to build a relationship first.”
“Getting the kit right matters more than I expected”
Member since 2024, Birmingham
“I tried with standard lube for the first few sessions and wondered why it wasn’t working. Switching to a proper fisting lube was genuinely transformative — it sounds like a small thing but it’s really not. Same with gloves. The right equipment removes friction — literally and figuratively — so you can focus on the experience.”
“Both roles changed how I experience it”
Member since 2022, Glasgow
“I started as purely a bottom and after about a year tried topping for the first time. Understanding both sides of the dynamic completely changed how I approach play as a receiver. You develop so much more empathy for your partner when you’ve been in their position — both physically and emotionally. I’d encourage anyone who’s curious about the other role to try it.”
“Take your time finding the right partner”
Member since 2023, Bristol
“Don’t play with someone you don’t trust completely. This sounds obvious but in the early days when you’re eager to get started, the temptation is to dive in with whoever’s available. The best sessions of my life have been with people I’ve known for months before we ever played. The worst have been rushed encounters with people I didn’t know well. The correlation is not a coincidence.”
Share your story
We regularly feature community stories in our articles. If you’d like to share your experience — anonymously if preferred — join the UK gay fisting community and post in the Articles group. Your experience could be exactly what someone else needs to read.
